What the Hell
by GorgeousSmile
Summary: CrackFic! All the boho's switch bodies...its weird come find out what happens. Oneshot


**Not gonna lie, this is the weirdest fan fic i have ever written. But i'm in the weirdest mood ever...and this is what you get from it.**

**Also warning you might be a little confused...maybe not a little maybe a lot confused...but oh well writing this kind of cheered me up and thats what i needed so i thought i would post it. **

**Enjoy!**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**_What the hell_**

One day in a far away State called New York there lived 7 friends, they were all together having a fun old time at the loft…Mark and Roger's loft to be precise. There was Mark the filmmaker, Roger the rocker, Maureen the performance artist, Joanne the lawyer, Mimi the dancer, Angel the drag queen and Collins the professor.

"I'm bored." Mimi stated as she untangled her self from Roger and his guitar.

"You're always bored, don't you know how to not be bored?" Roger asked as he let her get up.

Mark zoomed his camera in on her. "What do you want to do?"

Mimi pushed the camera out of her face. "Not be filmed."

Mark slowly walked away from the annoyed dancer.

"Angel? You always know what to do." Mimi said.

Angel looked up breaking her kiss that she was giving Collins. "I don't know, why don't you dance for us."

Mimi rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to dance."

"Yeah, come give me a lap dance." Maureen said from her sitting position on Joanne.

Roger quickly pulled Mimi down onto his lap. "Get your own cat scratch dancer."

Maureen pouted and grabbed Joanne's chin. "But I have Joanne and she's just a lawyer."

Joanne wrapped her arms tightly around Maureen's waist. "A lawyer that can punish you…if you know what I mean."

Maureen smiled wickedly. "Begin the punishing." She said while leaning in for a kiss.

Then all of a sudden out of nowhere there was an earthquake.

Maureen clutched tighter on to Joanne. "We're all going to die!" she shouted.

"Relax we aren't going to die." Collins said as she protected his and Angel's head with his hands.

Maureen jumped up and ran under the table. "Oh my god the floor is going to split open and we are all going to fall into it and go straight to hell!"

Joanne crawled under the table with her so she could try and calm her down while, Roger and Mimi huddled in a door way and Mark held on to the couch. After about 5mintus the shaking had stopped and everyone was passed out in his or her currant location.

"Joanne?" Roger called out.

"I'm here." Collins answered.

"Mimi you okay?" Mark asked.

"I'm fine." Maureen answered.

"Angel?" Mimi called out.

But there was no answer.

"How is Mark?" Mark asked.

"I'm fine." Angel confirmed.

"Alison?" Joanne called out.

Everyone slowly stood up and looked around at each other.

"Why the hell is they're two of me?" Mark asked.

"How much did I drink? Or Smoke because I see two of me too." Collins answered.

"Mimi I thought you quit smoking weed." Roger asked.

"I did." Maureen answered.

"I never asked you." Roger said.

"Yes you did, you said Mimi I thought you quit smoking." Maureen said.

Roger crossed his arms. "Yeah so why are you answering?"

"Chill, she isn't even you're girlfriend Mark." Collins said.

Roger turned his gaze to face the voice. "Yes she is…" he stopped when he noticed it was Mimi he was talking to.

"Okay hold up!" Joanne shouted. "I think something really weird happened because I'm looking down and I'm not a girl anymore." She started feeling herself. "In fact I'm Collins!"

"Everyone looked down at themselves. "I'm not me either!" Maureen said.

"Okay, everyone call out who they are." Collins said.

"Hi, I'm Maureen and I'm in Roger's body." She said in a happy voice.

"I'm in Collins body." Joanne answered.

"In Marks." Roger said.

"In Mimi's." Collins answered.

"I'm In Angels." Mark said.

"I'm in Maureen's" Mimi said.

Joanne's body walked forward and took a sigh. "And it's me Benny."

Maureen who was Roger crossed her arms. "Benny get out of my girlfriend!"

Benny who was Joanne rolled his eyes. "Don't you think I want to?"

"Okay, there has to be an explanation for all of this." Mark who was Angel said.

"Angel uh I mean Mark is right." Joanne who was Collins said.

Roger who was Mark walked over and sat on the couch. "Maybe it has something to do with that earthquake."

Benny who was Joanne started heading for the door. "Well all I know is that I'm not waiting around here to find out."

Joanne who was Collins grabbed his arm. "Yes you are, your not going anywhere in my body."

Collins who was Mimi started touching his body. "Wow, so this is what its like to have boobs."

Mimi who was Maureen crossed her arms. "Collins stop feeling me. Roger make him stop."

Roger who was Mark walked over and stopped him. "Okay, lets try and figure this out."

"I don't know…" Maureen who was Roger said. "I kind of like being a guy."

"Well I don't." Joanne who was Collins answered.

"Do you find something wrong with my body?" Collins who was Mimi asked.

"No, I just like being a girl."

"And you also like girls…so think of all the girls you can get in that body." Mark who was Angel said.

"It's different'" Joanne who was Collins answered.

Benny who was Joanne stepped forward. "Okay everyone stop, lets try and work this out so I can get back into my nicely fit body."

"Who's in my body?" Maureen who was Roger asked.

"It's me…Mimi."

"Can you kiss me please?"

"Maureen!" Joanne who was Collins shouted

Maureen who was Roger shrugged. "I want to know what it's like kissing me."

"Well I'm not kissing you." Mimi who was Maureen said.

Maureen attempted a pout with Roger's lips. "Come on, I'm Roger so it will be just like kissing him."

"Uh, no I don't want my lips on you're lips thank you very much, I have no idea where they have been." Mark who was Roger said.

"Well they have been on Marks and you're in his body…so I don't see what the big deal is." Maureen who was Roger replied.

Mark who was Roger stood up and stood in between Mimi and Maureen. "I don't care, you're still not kissing me or my girlfriend. And stop trying to pout with my lips you're making me look like an idiot."

"Come on don't you want to know what it's like kissing yourself?" Maureen who was Roger asked.

Mark who was Roger shrugged. "No."

Maureen who was Roger walked closer to him and started rubbing his arm. "Come on, you know you want to."

Roger who was Mark started leaning in, but then he quickly pulled away. "I can't! That would mean that me and Mark have kissed and that is just …not going to happen."

Mark who was Angel flopped down on the couch. "What's so wrong with kissing me."

"You're my best friend that's what's wrong."

"Well can I at least kiss Joanne?" Maureen who was Roger asked.

"No!" Benny who was Joanne and Joanne who was Collins both shouted at the same time.

"I mean Collins lips because that's the real Joanne."

Collins who was Mimi shook his head. "You're one weird girl Maureen."

They all flopped themselves down on the couch and thought things over for a few silent minutes.

"Whoa, did you feel that? I think I'm back to myself." Maureen who was Roger said as she made her way over to Mimi. She started leaning in until Mimi who was Maureen pulled away.

"Nice try Maureen, but I'm not kissing you."

Collins who was Mimi suddenly bent over to pick something up while Mimi checked herself out.

"Wow I really do have the best ass below 14th street."

Collins who was Mimi stood up and smiled at his new behind. "Being women is fun, now I know why Angel does it." Collins stood there and thought about that for a moment. "Hey now that song can really apply to me,"

"What song?" Benny who was Joanne asked with curiosity.

Collins who was Mimi stood up. "The Man I feel like a women song." He then started dancing. "Wow you have really good reflexes."

Mimi who was Maureen smiled and joined him. "I know, dancing helps with that."

Joanne who was Collins sat down next to Roger who was Mark and Maureen who was Roger. They all watched as the Mimi and Maureen bodies danced and sang together.

"Is anyone else a little turned on by this sight." Joanne who was Collins asked.

Roger who was Mark nodded. "Just a little."

"Benny, go join them." Maureen who was Roger said.

"I'm not dancing." Benny who was Joanne said.

"Come, on it will be like a threesome just go and wrapped you're arms around my waist." Maureen who was Roger said.

"Uh no it was fine with them two because it's Collins and Mimi, but I'm not having Benny wrap his arms around you're waist because Mimi is you."

"Come on Davis have a little fun, how many time does this happen?" Maureen asked.

Mark who was Angel came and sat down with them and looked at Joanne. "Word of advice, being a guy you kind of have to keep control of you're body parts."

"What?" Joanne who was Collins asked.

"Aww pookie it's you're first…well you know." Maureen who was Roger said.

Joanne who was Collins quickly covered herself with a pillow. "I hate being a guy!"

Angel who was Mark shrugged. "You get used to it."

Maureen who was Roger got interested in the dancing so she decided to join them in hopes to get to kiss herself.

As Roger she wrapped her arms around "Mimi' and the dancer was so into what she was doing she forgot about there whole body switching thing and put her arms around "Roger's" neck.

Maureen who was Roger got a big smile on her face and started leaning in, until Mimi who was Maureen slapped her. "MAUREEN! I said no!"

"OW!"

Roger who was Mark jumped up. "Hey, that's my face you hit!"

"Joanne, keep you're girlfriend away from me!" Mimi who was Maureen shouted at Benny who was Joanne's direction.

"Don't yell at me, Joanne is Collins."

Joanne who was Collins took a sobbing Maureen who was Roger in her arms.

"That' really hurt." Maureen sighed.

"It's okay honeybear."

Mark who was Angel nudged Joanne. "Congratulations you're little friend went away."

Joanne looked down. "He did yay!" She cheered as she wrapped her arms tighter around Maureen who was Roger.

"Hey Collins/Joanne watch the hands." Roger who was Mark said. "That's not Maureen that is me."

"This sucks." Benny who was Joanne said.

Collins who was Mimi sat down next to him. "No it doesn't, just learn to love it."

Benny sighed and he got up and checked himself out in the mirror. A smile grew on his face. "This is kind of nice…my skin is so soft, and my leg are hairless… he then looked down his shirt and I have the perfect boobs!"

Joanne who was Collins jumped up knocking Maureen who was Roger to the floor. "HEY! Keep my shirt on thank you very much!"

"HEY!" Roger who was Mark shouted as he ran over to his body, which was sprawled out on the floor. "Can you guys stop hurting my body please?"

"You know I was enjoying this before, but now it is not that fun." Maureen said.

"Collins I said stop touching me." Mimi who was Maureen shouted.

"Sorry I just can't help it." Collins who was Mimi said.

Mimi formed Maureen's famous pout. "Well please try for me."

Collins looked at her and smiled. "Okay, for you."

Maureen who was Roger clapped. "Nice pouting face Mimi, you pulled it off perfectly."

"Thanks!"

"Now give me a kiss." Maureen said.

Mimi slapped Maureen again.

"HEY!" both Roger and Maureen shouted

Everyone sat down and calmed down a little bit so they cold try and think about how to deal with this.

Maureen who was Roger started smiling.

"Thinking of something sexual?" Mark who was Angel asked.

Maureen looked over at him. "What, how would you know?"

"First of all it's you and second of all if you look down I think you'll noticed a new friend has arrived." Mark answered.

Maureen who was Roger looked down and her face beamed. "Oh my god my first! Joanne lets go try this baby out!"

"NO!" Mark who was Roger shouted. "Maureen put that thing away."

"I can't help it. If you want I can try it out on Collins who is Mimi." Maureen said.

"No you wont." Collins, Joanne and Mimi all answered.

"You guys are no fun." Maureen said as she slumped back into the couch. "Hey I have an idea!"

Everyone looked at her…well the body she was in and rolled their eyes.

She stood up. "Someone kick me in the balls…I want to see how badly it hurts! Then I'll get pregnant and I can let you all know what hurts the worst!"

Roger who was Mark ran over to cover his special area. "No, no one is kicking me there."

A few more moments of silence went by and everyone calmed down. Mimi who was Maureen forgot again about the whole switch aroo and made herself comfortable on Maureen's who was Roger's lap.

"Here to kiss me?" Maureen asked.

"MIMI!" Roger who was Mark shouted.

Mimi jumped up. "Sorry I forgot."

"Oh can you just kiss me Mimi? There not even you're real lips!" Maureen who was Roger shouted.

"No!" Mimi who was Maureen shouted back.

"Benny I said not to look down my shirt." Joanne who was Collins asked.

"I guess there is nothing you can really do about it can you." Benny who was Joanne said.

Mimi slapped Maureen again.

"Stop slapping me!" Mark who was Roger shouted.

Mark started checking out his new body some more.

"Watch where you're hands go." Collins who was Mimi said.

"Relax I'm not going to do anything dumb." Mark who was Angel said.

"You relax." Collins who was Mimi said then he stopped and glared at Mark. "Sorry I just wanted to see what it was like to scream in her voice."

Mark who was Angel shrugged. "Sounds fun."

Soon all the boho's where yelling at one another.

"KISS ME!"

"NO!"

"STOP HITTING ME!"

"KEEP MY SHIRT ON!"

"MAKE ME!"

"LIGHT MY CANDLE!"

"I KILLED A DOG!"

The yelling was so loud they didn't even notice a frantic Benny run in the room.

"I WOKE UP WITH A GIRL IN MY BED!" The Benny yelled.

Everyone stopped and looked at Benny.

"Angel?" Collins who was Mimi asked.

Benny's head nodded. "This is the worse day ever!"

Collins who was Mimi walked over and wrapped his arm around her and explained everything.

"What the hell…" Angel who was Benny said.

"I know…" Collins who was Mimi began. "Hey I never sat on someone's lap before."

"And you're not doing it anymore." Roger who was Mark said. "I will not have Mimi sit on Benny's lap even if its' not really them."

Collins stood up. "Okay then."

Angel who was Benny wiped away her tears and a smile spread on her lips. "So who is me?"

"Me…uh Mark."

"How do you like it?"

"It's alright." He shrugged.

"Just alright? It's me!" Angel who was Benny said. "Come on you guys lets have fun with this how many time does this happen?"

"Thank YOU!" Maureen who was Roger said. "Now Angel can you tell Mimi who is me to kiss me!"

Angel laughed. "Why would you want that?"

"Why wouldn't I want that? I want know what it's like kissing me!" Maureen whined.

Before anything else was said there was another earthquake and everyone fell to the ground and woke up a half hour later.

They all stood up and looked around.

Joanne who was Angel sighed. "It happened again."

"I'm a lawyer!" Mimi who was Joanne shouted.

"I'm a rocker!" Angel who was Roger shouted.

"I'm still a guy." Joanne who was Angel said.

"You're a girl!" Angel who was Roger yelled.

"Great I'm Mark." Benny said.

"And I'm Collins." Mark answered.

"Okay, who is in my body this time?" Maureen who was Mimi asked.

"I am and no I'm not kissing you." Roger who was Maureen answered.

"I'm Benny." Collins said in a non-excited tone.

"KISS ME!" Maureen shouted to her body.

"NO!" Everyone yelled at once.

The End.


End file.
